Tarsem Singh, “acclaimed” director of some awful drivel, is set to take up one of Guillermo Del Toro’s discarded projects: Killing on Carnival Row. We can barely contain our excitement.

Wait, no, the opposite: we can absolutely, in no uncertain terms contain our excitement.

The worst part is, it sounds like the kind of thing that would normally get our enthusiasm really fired up, and in this case our enthusiasm is made of brass and powered by steam. Let’s give a short synopsis: The year is sometime, the place is a (massive steampunk) city, the dude is a detective who’s hunting down a vampire. Not enough for you? THE VAMPIRE IS MURDERING FAIRIES.

How can that not be a good movie? Oh, wait, because Tarsem Singh’s directing it. Sigh.