The lot of a film critic is not an easy one; actors hate us, we inevitably have breakdowns during LFF, and every now and again we get accused of being paedophiles when we go to kids’ films alone. (This is a true story.) And as an unfortunate soul proved this week in America, once Google Glass rolls out we won’t even be able to further Google’s terrifying march towards global dominance in cinemas! Not that we’d especially want to, mind. Here are five other gadgets (none, alas, real) that we’d much rather take to the pictures.

We wonder how many there’ll be?

Grit your teeth, Quentin, you’ll cope.

We’re all calling it a “McConnaissance” right? You know, a kind of critical resurgence of an actor whose name has become associated with fluffy rom-coms and posters in which he’s..

Descendants star misses out on upside-down kiss.

GENERALS GATHERED IN THEIR MASSES

We’ll believe it when we see it.

Ten years on from an ill-fated mission in Afghanistan, following which he was recruited by the CIA, one-time economics student Jack Ryan (Chris Pine) is now working undercover on Wall Street. Tasked with looking for suspicious transactions that might be indicative of terrorist activities, he happens across a series of inaccessible Russian accounts. When he…

Film fans are hypocrites. We all pretend we’re in love with French dramas and ruminative comedies about AIDS, but when you get right down to it everyone wants to be – and, therefore, to watch – a superhero. We count down the heroes who’ll be setting your pulse racing in 2014.

Slow down, Margot, you’re giving us a headache.