Are you wondering what to do with your spare time? Do you sit around the house, saddened by the prospect of having no idea what films to see? Are you tired of me asking you questions? Then fear no more because here are the top 20 films to see at the cinema in 2011! Film 2012 round-up also available now!

Ryan Reynolds is officially People’s Sexiest Man Alive 2010. Big deal. We’ve been lusting after him since Scarlett Johansson’s horrible pop eyes were bigger than her stupid tits.

Hurrah for the bloody goriness that is Guy Fawkes day! A proud, dastardly time indeed in our national history, and a great excuse to give children some fire to mess around with. So considering the film world is usually so ready and willing to hijack our most exciting tales, our question is, where are the films to accompany Bonfire Night?

Long ago, no one wanted pirates on land. All they did was cause trouble, stealing your silver and seducing your girlfriend. So who, in the name of the Jolly Roger, allowed a pirate into a primary school? Captain Jack Sparrow can claim he was invited all he wants, but I know his plan. To entice all the school children into joining his pirate crew so that he can become the greatest plunderer on the Seven Seas.

In a stunning move of deep fatality, we look back over the most-hyped films that turned out to be absolute train wrecks. Arm yourself with tear ducts of concrete and a stomach of fists – this is not a pretty trip down memory lane…

No more travesties like Alice in Wonderland 3D! Tim Burton is set to produce Big Eyes and direct The Addams Family. Both films will be lovingly scripted by the writers of Ed Wood…

Alice had the best opening week in US history, grossing $116 million and getting rave reviews for it’s gloriously inventive visuals. There’s no denying that visually, Alice is a treat. But despite the exuberant effects, play with perspective and 3D glory, it cannot be denied that in terms of story, Alice is more than lacking.

We reported a while back that Penelope Cruz had been cast in the new Pirates Of The Carribean film, but at the time there was no word on who she would play. It’s been revealed today that she’s set to play BlackBeard’s daughter, who meets Jack Sparrow on his quest for the fountain of eternal youth.

After hearing so much about the weird, wonderful and utterly bizarre world Tim Burton creates in Alice In Wonderland, we entered the cinema with no small amount of excitement. Alice has had the best opening week in US history, grossing $116 million and getting rave reviews for it’s gloriously inventive visuals. There’s no denying that visually, Alice is a treat. But despite the exuberant effects, the story is more than lacking.

Alright, alright, we get it, Burton‘s Alice In Wonderland is so frikking exciting that we’re basically all just sat weeing ourselves around the clock in preparation. As we speak, cinema..