An alternative to walking on sticky floors and having the equivalent of Marge Simpson sit in front of you

Mermaids – attractive? Well we never…

The first teaser trailer for Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides has been released. Come have a look-see!

Are you wondering what to do with your spare time? Do you sit around the house, saddened by the prospect of having no idea what films to see? Are you tired of me asking you questions? Then fear no more because here are the top 20 films to see at the cinema in 2011! Film 2012 round-up also available now!

We all have our foibles. Some of us chew with our mouths open, for instance. But we can work it out – just CLOSE IT! But there are some of us who act on their weaknesses. Like the two fellas who had a yearning to be near Johnny Depp so much that they attempted to break into his trailer. In full pirate get-up.

Hyper Japan, a three day “pop culture” event made its way to The Old Truman Brewery, Brick Lane last weekend. Imagine all things Japanese under a London roof; food, art, gaming, fashion and technology (I saw my first 3D telly!) and you’ve got something a bit like it. But I had no time for Japanese tomfoolery, I was there with a purpose. So I tore myself away from the manga illustrators and Japanese fashion show, slapped on my film hat and went to be wowed (and a bit weirded out) by the joy and absudity of anime.

Confirmation of Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides came yesterday, announced (oddly enough) by the Governor of Hawaii. The Pirates team plan to film on the Hawaiian islands of Kaua’i and O’ahu and so it was the proud job of the local government to tell the world of their upcoming visitors.

To celebrate the release of groundbreaking nonsense Battleship, we’ve sailed the high seas of cinema in search of the silver screen’s best ever boats. Which is your favourite? The Pequod? La Amistad? The Potemkin? Yeah, none of them are in it.

There’s going to be a Doctor Who movie materialising in cinemas soon, most likely with that weird whoooshing sound effect. Now if they want to do this, it turns out they’re going to need an actor to play the Doctor (we were as shocked as you were). So we thought we’d give the film producers a hand, and let you all know our picks for who would make superb Doctors Whos.

The Rum Diary is an occasionally funny, occasionally madcap film that essentially is neither very funny nor very madcap. Despite the promises of the trailer the film follows a narrative that is conventional and even a tad dull. All in all, it’s a bit of a rum deal. Ahem.