New Pirates of the Caribbean trailer released!
We were pretty determined not to like Pirates of the Caribbean : On Stranger Tides, because we’re still having occasional flashbacks to the aberration that was At World’s End – yes, the crabs were impressive, but WHY WAS SHE A GODDESS?!? Ridiculous tripe. Anyway, the first trailer for Captain Jack Sparrow’s latest adventure – his first without Orlando Bloom or Keira Knightley’s characters by his side – was released yesterday. Have a quick watch.
Of course it’s exciting, it’s got the most unashamedly ripped-off pan-action score of all time. And it is, we admit, nice to see Johnny Depp back in costume – we got a little confused seeing him unadorned and rather boringly human in The Tourist. But is there anything actually new here? Jack Sparrow (alright, alright, Captain Jack Sparrow) goes questing after some improbable treasure, pisses off a substantially more badass pirate, maintains a bromantic power struggle with his sort-of-sidekick, has various pseudosexual encounters with a strong, sassy (and heavily armed) woman and faces off against some absurd CGI monsters. In case you haven’t noticed the pattern, BFF would like to present its infallible Guide to All The Important Bits of Every PotC Movie Ever:
|Curse of the Black Pearl||Dead Man’s Chest||At World’s End||On Stranger Tides|
|Captain||Jack Sparrow||Jack Sparrow||Jack Sparrow||Jack Sparrow|
|Wingman||William Turner||William Turner||Hector Barbossa||Hector Barbossa|
|Wench||Elizabeth Swann||Elizabeth Swann||Tia Dalma||Angelica|
|Pirate Foe||Hector Barbossa||Davy Jones||Davy Jones||Blackbeard|
|Absurd bad guys||Undead Pirates||Fishy Pirates||Fishy Pirates||Zombies/ Mermaids|
|Object of quest||Black Pearl||Heart of Davy Jones||Save Piracy||Fountain of Youth|
It’s getting just a teeny bit repetitive, don’t you think? Mind you, this one’s in 3D, so that’ll probably make it all alright. *sigh*