There was once a time when Sandra Bullock reigned supreme over the romantic comedy, but that time, as this film demonstrates, is well and truly over. This new ridiculous outing sees Bullock’s pushy book editor force her put-upon assistant to marry her to avoid deportation, and naturally (yet inexplicably) romance ensues. Even if you can put aside the formulaic stupidity, the chemistry between Reynolds and Bullock is about as poor as it gets. One to avoid unless you’re desperate.

There’s a lot to worry about when it comes to the delicate, supple young minds of our children. But rather than bubblewrapping the family computer and locking the shed, maybe we should look a bit deeper into what kids films tell our children about life. We’ve examined (in great, hasty detail) the classic films kids love to watch and we must say, the results are urine-inducing…

It’s difficult to explain why Godzilla has turned into such a pop icon. He was conceived by Toho Film in 1954 as ‘Gojira’ a colossal beast awoken by man’s ignorant..

Promised Land, the latest offering from Gus Van Sant, almost managed to sneak under our radar this week despite starring Frances McDormand and Matt Damon. Matt Damon! Everyone loves him, don’t th… oh, apparently they don’t. With unexpected tides of pro- and anti-Damon prejudice swelling through the corridors of Best For Film Towers, we’re resolving things the traditional way – with a stupid argument about butter.

Spring finally seems to be here for good, so as you prepare that first celebratory vat of Pimm’s don’t forget to hold back a few oranges and lemons for this week’s film rundown. Will you be tempted by Ryan Gosling in a forest, or does Charlie Sheen boffing Lindsay Lohan sound more like your cup of tea? If it does, probably sterilise the cup before you let anyone else drink from it. Pervert.

This week, Stephenie Meyer has unleashed The Host upon us, bringing with it a hoarde of aliens as terrifying as her Twilight vampires were menacing. As in NOT VERY, STEPHENIE MEYER! Nevertheless, her unprecedented alien invasion has thrown the office into a quandary – is there really ANYTHING worth seeing at the cinema tonight? Get ready to have your opinions forcefed to you, loyal readers…

What better way to ease in a brand-new intern than by throwing them into a (metaphorical) ring with a longtime BFFer and forcing them into a (again, metaphorical) fight to the death, eh? Jeremy Renner is back in cinemas for Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, forcing Megan and Kayleigh into a premature catfight about Renner’s capabilities as an actor…

A year on from the events of Taken, Bryan Mills (Neeson) had hoped to retire in peace but when he and his wife are kidnapped by a gang looking to exact revenge, he is forced to re-employ the very particular set of skills which saw Taken become such a a cult hit. Taken 2 is a pretty generic action film with none of the brutality or vibrancy of its predecessor but it has enough spectacle to ensure that cinemas will still get a significant number of bums on seats.

At least there aren’t any wolves this time.

In this vast, unknowable, ever-changing universe there are few things which we can safely rely on to remain constant. Thus those that do, those that struggle on relentlessly, blithely ignoring the evanescent nature of human existence – taxes, the Kardashians, films which pit one mythical creature/alien/abstract concept against another in a brutal fight to the death – can only bring us joy. In recognition, then, of the grand tradition of the “something vs something else” film – and to celebrate the release of Strippers vs. Werewolves – we bring you the Top Ten Versus Films. Enjoy! But remember, whoever wins, we lose/get eaten.