And yet no Oscar nod for Magneto?

The release of The Skin I Live In got our minds wandering on the topic of plastic surgery. It wandered to places it probably shouldn’t have.

God, things are sexy, aren’t they? So many things that there are, and all of them sexy. Baths, cooking, pithy conversations in a descending elevator – all you need is Anne Hathaway, some improbably witty back and forth with a chiselled titaniMAN, and boom – fruitful flesh-grappling is in the air. Except, of course, that it never is. Not really.

Has George produced a floater or a sinker?

From time to time we are presented with films so bad that they rattle our cages till they can rattle no more. Sometimes we shamefully have to bury our heads in the sand because the powers that be force us to enjoy them. So without further ado, may we present you with the top ten films we hate to love and love to hate

You don’t need a reason to read Orange(Wednesday)s and Lemons, obviously – unless it’s that you’re a human being – but even if you did we’d still be ready. ZING! It’s the last time our lovely intern type folks will be scribbling their citrus wisdom onto your hearts, and you don’t want to miss that, do you? Of course not. In you come.

You never see a hard-working chair in the Hollywood credits, do you? Never doffed your cap to a really brilliant curtain, or a staggeringly talented knife? We celebrate the unsung heroes of the cinematic world: the inanimate objects that made their films iconic.

To celebrate the brief few days between the release of Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides and its inevitable box office flop, we thought we’d channel the very muckiest of Captain Jack Sparrow’s rum-guzzling habits and settle you down for an evening of alcoholism on the high seas. Avast, where be that Babycham?

Just when you thought the ship had finally sunk to the bottom of the sea bed, those pirates, who may or may not be in the Caribbean any more, swing back with another romping instalment of nautical based madness. Your timbers should indeed be shivering.

If every one of our OWLingly good Wednesday blogs turned into 14.95 Spartans, we’d have 299 Spartans! Which is nearly enough for a party. Unfortunately, what we’d actually have is 280 proper Spartans and 19 that were missing some toes, which isn’t ideal. If only there was another number we could multiply 20 by… Anyway, what’re you watching this week? We know, and we’re TELLING YOU IN WORDS, LIKE.