Weird super powers, horns randomly growing out of your head, leather jackets. We’re in!

Radcliffe grows a pair of magical horns for next film, luckily he’s no stranger to ‘forehead-acting’

Nothing groundbreaking or awe-inspiring to be seen here, but John Carpenter being just okay is still better than no John Carpenter at all. Flimsy plot and performances, but what you’re forking over for is the shocks, and he still delivers better than most. Will leave you thinking, “Come on, John… let’s next time get our hands REALLY dirty.”

We know, we know. You’ve got no realistic intention of seeing Piranha 3D, because it looks like it’ll be an hour and a half of breasts, gore and unconvincing CGI. But somehow, that doesn’t stop it being brilliant.