The Mask of Francis

Antonio Banderas to be stuck in a filthy hole. Dreams really DO come true

Pedro Almodóvar’s latest brightly-coloured offering to the cinematic landscape is a hefty move away from the dark, stirring masterpieces that catapulted him as one of today’s most stylish directors. I’m So Excited is more akin to the likes of Airplane! (whilst being simultaneously the opposite, because Airplane! is actually hilarious and this film is not) than anything like The Skin I Live In. Shoving cheesy 80s wit and iridescent montages into a blender, I’m So Excited will try to convince you that tasteless stupidity, bright colours and nonsensical characters boasts a great film. Unsurprisingly, it does not.

We’re too bored to say anything funny.

One of the most expensive films about an Arabian subject matter ever funded by an Arab, there’s no doubt that Black Gold is a labour of love from producer Tarak Ben Ammar. Adapted from Hans Reusch’s 1957 novel South of the Heart and uniting a strong international cast, the film strives for epic, but instead comes off as kitsch – a fine mixture of ingredients, disappointingly over baked in the fiery desert sun.

Well, they have to learn about demoniacally possessed middle aged women some time.

Haywire is a funny little thing, a strange mix of gritty action, suave loitering and lots and lots of running. Star Gina Carano is supremely believable as Woman Who Will Kill Everyone, but she never seems quite at home amongst Soderbergh’s splashy cymbals and stylish basslines. At the end of the day, just as Statham will never be Bond, Carano just doesn’t suit the slick-suited world of pseudo-spying – just let her loose in Dublin with a baseball bat and a score to settle next time, eh?

The dearly departed Shrek franchise is given a welcome dose of prequel shock treatment in this high-octane and utterly shameless Zorro rip-off. THRILL to Puss’ mesmerising swordplay! GASP as Kitty Softpaws steals all of the things, all of the time! WONDER why nobody comments on the sudden plague of accented cats!

This Friday, Dreamworks’ Shrek spin-off Puss in Boots is hitting the cinemas. To celebrate this occasion, we are taking a look back at some of our most beloved onscreen cats. We’ve also invited along noted cat scientist Professor Snowypaws to help us out.

Antonio Banderas is back on our screens in a big way this year, starring in a Pedro Almodóvar film for the first time in two decades and voicing his Shrek character Puss in Boots in a high-profile spin-off. But how much do you know about his winery? EXACTLY. Thank God for you we’ve just written a Cheat Sheet…