With a plot as cheerfully convoluted as its title, viewers might start to feel sea-sick trying to keep up with the ridiculous twists and turns of The Pirates! In An Adventure With Scientists. But does it matter? Not really. This is home-made Aardman animation at its most visually dazzling, and the love, humour and detail locked in every frame ensures that story quibbles are soon tossed over-board.

With the last days of Edgar Allen Poe proving an enduring mystery, James McTeigue poses an account of the poet’s final days that sees him investigating a spate of murders based on his previous works. Drawing a mixed response from critics, we can at least rest assured that it couldn’t possibly be any worse than his 2009 effort, Ninja Assassin. Right? RIGHT?

The English-language debut of Swedish thriller director Daniel Espinosa is a “high-octane”, “intense”, “no holds barred” (delete as appropriate) maelstrom of secrets, spies and badly edited fight scenes. The cast is fine and it’s always nice to go back to South Africa (fokken prawns!), but surely we’ve outgrown two hour gunfights interspersed with trash talk?

But where’s Drive?

Immortals is out, and that’s as good a reason as any to get so drunk that you start calling your wedding tackle ‘Poseidon’ and telling it you’ll sacrifice a white bull to it just as soon as one trots out of the sea. Make sure you don’t substitute another bull, though, or your testicles might turn into a MInotaur. Or something. Can you tell that we’ve already started drinking?

GO ON GARY

Every so often you watch a film that you know you’re going to love within the first 5 or 10 minutes. Treacle Jr. is one such film. Funny, poignant, wonderfully acted and making brilliant use of its South London locations, Treacle Jr. is an absolute gem of a film, illustrating once again that you don’t need a Hollywood budget to create brilliant cinema.

So after a wet and blustery June and a less than tropical July, it looks like August is going to be no better. So, rather than delay the inevitable, best face facts now: that barbeque is staying in the shed, you’re not going to get a chance to wear that bikini and picnic food tastes rubbish when it’s covered in rain. However, last time we checked cinemas are all rain free! Huzzah! Here’s your pick of what’s to come next month!

SO IRISH

One of those “Isn’t he the one from…” actors, Brendan Gleeson has been consistently delivering great performances for nearly twenty years, without ever really getting major recognition outside of industry circles. Perhaps with his current release The Guard getting glowing reviews, and with his directorial debut At Swim-Two-Birds in pre-production, he’ll finally be rooted in the public consciousness. Lord knows he deserves it.