It’s a sad fact in life that, sometimes, bad trailers happen to good films. Look at 21 Jump Street for instance; a clever satire of the buddy-cop drama made to look just like… well, just like an actual buddy-cop drama. We’ve decided to hold these trailer crimes accountable and have selected the top 10 worst offenders to be sent before the Best For Film judge…

THEY’RE HERE! The nominations for the 84th Academy Awards have been released, and as we predicted The Artist has basically bagsied all the categories like a fat greedy child in a tuckshop. Standard.

With hard-hitting sex-addict drama Shame hitting our screens to the applause of critics everywhere, it’s no wonder we’ve got the two-backed monster on our minds. From Carey Mulligan’s unexpected nudity (forget the sad eyes!) and Fassbender’s humongous ‘fassbender’, it was pretty sexy. So sexy. But also horribly horribly unsexy. And so, to celebrate all things gross and disturbing in the bedroom, we’ve decided to count down the top 10 least sexy sex scenes ever…

Heard of it?

That’s the BAFTA OWRSA to you.

But where’s Drive?

You can’t write ‘Branagh and Fiennes’ without ‘BIFAAA’ !

She’s a funny lady, isn’t she?

What’s Your Number? tells the story of Ally Darling a woman who, upon discovering that sleeping with more then twenty men is a one-way ticket to Spinster City via Loneliness Junction, retraces her dating past in an attempt to unearth ‘the one’ she may have discarded. Of course, LOVE was waiting JUST NEXT DOOR. Predictable, yes. A fun way to waste an afternoon? Also yes.

Perhaps you’d noticed, but multiplex cinemas are starting to get really, really pricey. This would be fine if the experience was improving, but it’s not. It’s getting worse. After one too many sub-par screenings, maybe it’s time to find somewhere else to get our fix..