It will probably be Bieber.

Now that Zac Efron and Hilary Duff are nearing retirement, America is clearly cowering at the prospect of an empty podium. Scouting a 14 year old Justin Bieber on YouTube, the US of A has a new poster child for hard work, family values and segways. Should you accidentally find yourself in the wrong screen, maybe avoid the overwhelming instinct to reach for your gag reflex and gouge out your brain as there are a number of nice visual touches and bop-tastic tunes that just keep this docu-concert on the right side of God-awful.

There hasn’t been a really, really good film about Jesus for ages, has there? Actually, there hasn’t ever been one – they’re either unpleasantly graphic (The Passion of the Christ) or cringeworthily obsequious (everything else). We can’t be doing with this dearth of watchable Jesus biopics, so we’ve suggested a few leading men (and ladies) who might be up to the job…

Peter Jackson has finally been confirmed as director of the two overdue film adaptations of The Hobbit. As if you didn’t know.

After the “joy” Mamma Mia brought (some of) us in 2008, it was only a matter of time before someone else jumped on the “jukebox musical” concept. Thank your lucky stars it’s not Justin Bieber. So instead of the heartache of a fifteen year old, prepare yourself for a soundtrack concerned with all things good; the beach, cars and romance. Oh, Beach Boys, you sure know how to make a girl feel special.

Creepy, shmoozing teenager, Justin Bieber is not only taking over the radio waves but he’s all spread his sacharine smile on our screens too. He’s chatting to his new mate, Will Smith who must have been charmed by Bieber’s innocence (he doesn’t fool me, he knows exactly what he’s doing) and has decided to make a film based on Bieber’s life. What life?? Isn’t he like twelve??? What could he have done with his life? I’m hoping for a 50 Cent, Get Rich or Die Trying type thing.