Do you think it might actually happen?

Blackbeard trades his tricorn for a crown.

Yep. More Jason. Surely nobody’s watching these any more?

…If his feet can reach the stirrups, that is. Ha. Haha. Sorry Tom, that’s not funny. Word is that Tom Cruise and Renee Zellweger have both signed up for a new western entitled Paper Wings, which sees a rodeo champ falling in love with a country singer. We reckon Tom is playing the singer.

Sigh. And we only have ourselves to blame. Against all the odds, and the cries of “don’t listen to them, they’re shiny and plastic!”, the trite and star-stuffed Valentine’s Day has broken records in the US for for President’s Day and V-Day weekends with an estimated $66.9 million over four days. And people say romance is dead.