There’s a lot to worry about when it comes to the delicate, supple young minds of our children. But rather than bubblewrapping the family computer and locking the shed, maybe we should look a bit deeper into what kids films tell our children about life. We’ve examined (in great, hasty detail) the classic films kids love to watch and we must say, the results are urine-inducing…

Like some sort of festive Dickensian fable, the good, humble people of Bath were yesterday treated to the kind of visit you don’t even get once a year. Thousands – yes, thousands – of people flocked to the historic city’s centre last night to witness a true Christmas Miracle: Nicolas Cage turning on the local Christmas lights.

Hi! I’m not Troy McClure. You might remember me from other such features as “Top 10 Aimless 80’s Nostalgia Trips” and “Waffling On About Something Irrelevant That Causes Me Disproportionate Anger”. Now, let’s stroll together down a list of the great Mr. McClure’s oft-name dropped movies, and see which ones should be jammed into production like a fish in a sock.

As much as we love to moan about the ‘too good to be true’ on-screen relationship, there exists something far worse; the utterly baffling on-screen relationship. From girls having sex with Death in Meet Joe Black to questionable sexual age politics in Big, we feel it’s time for these dodgy love affairs to be exposed for what they are; bloody weird.

Matthew Vaughn’s upcoming adaptation of the Mark Millar comic Kick-Ass has been picked up for UK distribution by Universal – which is damn good news as far as we’re cocerned. Vaughn, who previously produced Guy Ritchie’s Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch, and directed 2004’s well-received Layer Cake, has been plagued with difficulties in finding a UK distributor for the film.

Everyone’s favourite goggle-eyed action hero, Nicolas Cage, has been forced to sell off six of his luxury homes in Europe and the US.