Keith Lemon: The Film manages to make The Inbetweeners movie look like a viable candidate for an Academy Award nomination for Best Picture. It doesn’t matter how many times Kelly Brook shows off her curves in her underwear (which is many), how many ill-advised celebrity cameos there are (also many) or how often Leigh Francis attempts to tickle our funny bones with a badly-timed fart joke (seriously?), there is absolutely nothing that can stop this film from being dubbed unwatchable.
As Hollywood searches on for the next frontier–be it D-Box, Aromascope or Secret Cinema–we look back over its much maligned exploitation of the third dimension. Love it or hate it, there’s no denying that 3D has had its moments. Here are ten of our favourites.
Radcliffe grows a pair of magical horns for next film, luckily he’s no stranger to ‘forehead-acting’
Piranha 3D was the surprise hit of 2010, blending knowing references to its glorious B-movie heritage with a truly unfeasible supply of boobs, blood, boobs, fish, boobs, Christopher Lloyd and boobs. Can its long-awaited sequel work the same schlocky magic? …No, no it can’t. Piranha 3DD is exactly as bad as we expected its predecessor to be.
Do you not understand the ONLY reason people want to see your stupid film, guys?
Take Shelter is destroying cinema screens up and down the country with a combination of tornadoes, earthquakes and Michael Shannon, and if we somehow live through that there’s always another film waiting to wipe out humanity. Still, you’ve got to laugh, eh? Rather than get depressed about the inevitable extinguishing of our world, we’ve decided to look at Hollywood’s top 10 most baffling apocalyptic films…
David R. Ellis is familiar enough with the slasher-less slasher genre, having previously directed not just one but two instalments in the Final Destination franchise. His latest offering sees a batch of very CGI sharks take over death’s killing duties, as another array of faceless teens line up for slaughter. At the end of the Night, however, maybe Ellis should have stuck with invisible killers, as the director doesn’t fare quite so well when handed a box of pixels and left to jump the shark instead.
Snipe London
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