Water for Elephants is a strange beast, trying to be a whimsical blockbuster whilst seeming to long for a lot more action. If you marry the physical beauty of Robert Pattinson with the cerebral Christoph Waltz, add a pinch of Witherspoon and throw in a circus set, voila you have one gigantic melting pot of a movie that delivers some beautiful cinematography, a little whimsy and a whole lot of violence.

Legally BRIDE

A cute but predictable rom-com with a decent line up, How Do You Know might not set the world on fire, but it will warm the cockles of your heart and bring a smile to your face. Unless you are actually a machine, in which case this will just annoy you.

It’s got an elephant doing a handstand in it. And that’s all you need to know.

Christmas isn’t about families, and good times, and joy to the world and all that nonsense! It’s all about humbug, misanthropy, selfishness and greed. Yeah, that’s what Christmas is about. Thanks for the new car, Dad. I didn’t get you a goddamn thing, and you’d better be grateful.