Twitter has gone mental at the news that the venerable David Dimbleby has got his first tattoo at the age of 75, and it got us thinking about other tattoos we have known and loved. Not Cameron Diaz’ crappy cat print in the equally crappy The Counselor, mind. Ain’t no way we’re supporting Diaz, unless the tattoo artist gave her blood poisoning.
Look, we weren’t going to do this – offending the world’s 1.2bn Catholics would put quite a dent in our web traffic, and we suspect the Vatican is a dab hand at DDoS attacks when it feels the need. But after A WHOLE DAY of 115 cardinals failing to decide which of the essentially interchangeable old white men among them should be the next King of the Interchangeable Old White Men, BFF has no choice but to step in. Brace yourself, Jehovah.
It’s mid-October, so obviously the world is already decked out in Christmas bullshit and seasonal food that goes out of date in November. Christmas coming early is obviously ridiculous, but the real tragedy behind it is that Hallowe’en – king of all the fatuous seasonal holidays – gets left behind, struggling to be heard under the mountains of chocolate Santa Claus’ and reams of low-quality, pound-land wrapping paper. Well bollocks to that! Stick two-fingers up to Christmas and get terrifyingly drunk with our Classic Horror Movies Drinking Game!
Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 is out this Friday. SCREAM SCREAM SWOONY DREAMZ OMFG ZZZZZ3333. Everyone is going to poop when they see this film. In honour of it coming into the world like a screaming demon baby that claws its way out, bloodied and howling, from the ruins of its mothers womb, BFF have compiled a list of the Top 10 Worst Films that the Cast of Twilight Had A Hand In. Or: the Top Ten Films Cursed by Twilight. Enjoy.
If asked to name successful film franchises, you could more than likely rattle off a few that have held audience interests long enough to exceed the standard trilogy. James Bond. Harry Potter. Star Wars. Heck, even Resident Evil is still putting bums on seats after four instalments. But not all film franchises continue to pull in the crowds, instead defaulting to DVD as they continue to explore their characters, story and that crack in the floor in HMV. We’ve found seven of the saddest…
Paul WS Anderson has committed the greatest act of cultural rape since Stephenie Meyer thought “Whitby and dogs are all very well, but none of it’s really sparkly enough…”. The Three Musketeers is plagiarised from so many disparate sources that I can scarcely keep up with them – unfortunately, however, Alexandre Dumas’ classic romance isn’t among them. This film is unforgivable.
Have you guys been watching the news? It seems that shipwreck hunters have discovered the remains of the S.S. Gairsoppa off the coast of Ireland and it’s got about £150,000,000 of silver buried inside. Gulp. Now that’s treasure beyond even our wildest dreams, although these films certainly give Gairsoppa’s haul a run for its money! Time to check out the top 10 treasures ever found (in film)…
Heading out on the town tonight and looking to make some new, ahem, “acquaintances”? Not quite as adept with the lingo of love as you’d like to be? Been shot down more times than Boromir in The Lord Of The Rings? Now is not the time to panic, as we’ve done all the hard work for you. After scouring the film database, we’ve pulled out the top 10 chat-up lines that can be applied to any romantic situation, ever ever. So read them. Learn them. Dazzle the opposite sex with them and, when you get laid, send us a box of chocolates. We like chocolates…
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