Soon to be renamed ‘Going Sparkly’.

This week, Reese stars in This Means War, a film where she forces two lifelong friends (and also… spies? Or something. I don’t know. Ask John.) to compete for her love, destroying one another in the process. Hang on a second, haven’t we seen this before? Y’know, Reese Witherspoon systematically ruining the lives of those around her? Let’s investigate.

One minute you’re basking in rapturous applause, gratefully clasping the most coveted of all tiny golden men, and the next, well, you’re teaming up with Ashton Kutcher for yet another kooky road comedy. We explore the terrifying curse of the Best Actress Oscar, and pay homage to those poor souls struck down…

Water for Elephants is a strange beast, trying to be a whimsical blockbuster whilst seeming to long for a lot more action. If you marry the physical beauty of Robert Pattinson with the cerebral Christoph Waltz, add a pinch of Witherspoon and throw in a circus set, voila you have one gigantic melting pot of a movie that delivers some beautiful cinematography, a little whimsy and a whole lot of violence.

It’s got an elephant doing a handstand in it. And that’s all you need to know.