Articles Posted by the Author

  • Baron Blood

    1970s horror films can strike fear into even the toughest horror film fan’s hearts. This was of course the era of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Dawn of the Dead. If you are a not a seasoned horrorphile fear not. Blood Baron is a little more kitch, a little more surreal and a whole lot more hilarious.

  • 6 Plots

    Described by its makers as a thriller and viewed by the rest of the world as a horror, 6 Plots manages to be neither thrilling or horrific. Don’t get your hopes up either that there will be multiple (or indeed 6) plot lines in this film. There’s barely enough script to make one.

  • Friday Drinking Game #66 – Twilight

    Tonight is the night. It is finally happening. Twilight: The Hideously Long Saga is ending. Right now millions of prepubescent teens are rushing towards multiplexes up and down the country to see Bella Swan finally achieve a sparkly orgasm. We are sure there is probably more too it than that, but since we had to watch Robert Pattinson EAT A BABY OUT OF BELLA’S WOMB we have quite frankly given up. So grab some beers, grab the DVDs and drink so hard you forget Twilight ever existed at all…

  • Flying Swords of Dragon Gate

    Here is the formula for coming up with a successful title for a Chinese action movie: use the word dragon, make something else fly and shove in some references to weapons and you’re done. Sadly there isn’t a good formula for coming up with the plot of the film. Flying Swords of Dragon Gate is bonkers. Maybe if any of the characters stood still for long enough you’d have a better change at figuring out what the heck is going on…

  • Top 10 improvised lines in films

    Some days it feels like every ruddy actor out there is getting on set and making shit up. With all of the apocryphal stories about improvised lines and made up scenes you begin to wonder why Hollywood still needs screenwriters at all. Normally these tales are 100% bull. And no matter how many times Dustin Hoffman says he made up the “I’m walking here!” line we all know that he really didn’t. Every now and then though something comes along that just feels real. So here are the best, non-surgically enhanced wowza lines in cinema history. (Hello Boys! Yeah, they’re real.)