The world is apparently due to end in 2012 so, if you’re anything like us here at BFF, you’ll want to start planning your last year on Earth effectively. What better way to begin than by short listing the top 10 films to hit the cinemas in January? From Meryl Streep’s fearsome portrayal of The Iron Lady right up to dogs dying in hideous ways in The Darkest Hour, there truly is something for everyone. Especially those of us who hate dogs.

 

#10 – Mother And Child
6th January

Do you like taut, emotionally-fuelled and well-acted dramas? Then you’ll probably enjoy Mother And Child. Or, at the very least, you’ll enjoy the first half of it. Three women. The process of adoption. Samuel L. Jackson probably not dying… it all spells out something rather interesting and, at the same time, very irritating.

 

#9 – Coriolanus
20th January

Coriolanus is, in the words of one film reviewer, “Shakespeare for the Call of Duty generation”. How could we not be on board with that? Ralph Fiennes is in it. You may know Ralph from such roles as Voldemort, Francis Dolarhyde and Jesus. In this film, he takes on his biggest role yet… as the DIRECTOR! He also shaves his head. It’s gotta be worth seeing for him shaving his head; it’ll be like watching a Making Of Voldemort documentary, in a weird way.

 

#8 – J. Edgar
20th January

Everybody keeps telling me that J.Edgar is one of the dreariest and most awful films ever made. But I refuse to believe it, as Leonardo Di Caprio takes on the title role and, by God, if there’s one thing Di Caprio can do it’s act bloody well. Remember Revolutionary Road? Remember Inception? Remember The Beach? I’ll even concede that he’s quite good in Titanic, despite the fact that I hate the film with a passion. So how can J. Edgar possibly be bad? HOW?!

 

#7 – A Useful Life
13th January

Do you want to know why we like the sound of this one? Do you really? It’s because it makes devoting your life to cinema seem like an exceptionally fantastic idea. A Useful Life is, basically, an insight into the world of cinephilia. No, strike that. It is an ELEGY to the world of cinephilia. It will make you scorn the multiplexes, fall in love with your local arthouse and view films as something more than just light entertainment. They will take on the role of the instructor, of the maternal figure and of the unique philosopher. In short, this little lovely will be sure to prove a feather in the cap of serious cinema-goers everywhere.

 

#6 – Tatsumi
13th January

Yoshihiro Tatsumi’s graphic autobiography has been brought to biopic status by Eric Khoo. This dark animation pays homage to the world of ‘gekiga’ manga and, set in the aftermath of WW2, frequently forces extremely violent and sexualised scenes upon the viewer. Apparently there’s a bit where a big glob of semen slides down the screen. I don’t even like typing the word ‘semen’, so you can imagine how very unsettling this film truly is…

 

#5 – The Descendants
27th January

George Clooney is still looking nifty at fifty, isn’t he? He’s the sort of human being who has had divine qualities laden upon his fine form; he’s even gained omnipresence with the god-awful Nespresso adverts that invade our evening television. “Nespresso… what else?” What else indeed, Clooney? How about earnest family drama The Descendants, a film which feels like it has been around FOREVER without quite making it to cinemas yet? It tells the story of a man coming to terms with the impending death of his wife, not to mention how he deals with informing his daughters of this hideous oncoming tragedy. Apparently it’s a comedy. We all find comatose spouses funny, don’t we? Haha, let’s all have a bloody good laugh. But anything’s better than the heartbreaking sight of Clooney being robbed of his last express coffee sachet, for Christ’s sake.

 

#4 – The Darkest Hour
13th January

Moscow is beautiful. The five young stars of this film are beautiful. You know what ISN’T beautiful? An unseen and unstoppable alien force hell-bent on destroying all life as we know it. A devastating attack leaves humanity in tatters, as the invisible threat attempts to rob us of all our Earthly power supplies. It also kills dogs in a most horrific way, as seen in the trailer. Doesn’t it look a little like the dog from the trailer was popped into an invisible blender? Awful. Just awful. Despite this minor upset, this stylish supernatural thriller looks like it might just be (ahem) out of this world.

 

#3 – War Horse
13th January

God, we so wish we could put this in the number one slot. We so so wish we could; it’s a film about WAR and HORSES, for crying out loud! There’s nothing us BFF peeps love more than horses, as avid followers of the site are probably aware by now. However, with rumours of an Oscar nomination rife and Steven Spielberg the driving horse behind the project, not to mention the wonderful novel the film is based on, we’ve got neigh doubts that this will be anything but a whinny. Erm, we meant winner. Obviously.

 

#2 – The Iron Lady
6th January

If there’s anybody who can make Maggie Thatcher look like a warm and wonderful human being, it’s Meryl Streep. The Iron Lady tells the story of Thatcher’s rise to power and, in due course, changed the UK forever. The rave reviews suggest that, if there’s just ONE film you see next year, it has to be this one. The added bonus of Meryl Streep being British confirms this theory.

 

#1 – Shame
13th January

Oh, what a SHAME! It seems that there actually is one film in our January 2012 must-see list which beats The Iron Lady hands down. First of all, it’s got sex addiction at the centre of it all. Mmm, nothing better than a sex addiction fuelled plotline, is there? Second of all, it carefully dissects the New York yuppie lifestyle. As we all know from such gems as American Psycho, Wall Street and Keeping Up With The Kardashians, there’s nothing more INTERESTING than the New York yuppie lifestyle. And we say that with completer sincerity. Thirdly, but by no means least, it stars Michael Fassbender and Carey “I Act With My Eyes” Mulligan. In short, we have a fantastic cast, wild topic and a guaranteed night of blindingly gritty entertainment.

Which film are you most looking forward to in January 2012? Do you think the Mayans are right and the world is going to end next year? If so, have you got a plan of action?

TELL US ALL THE THOUGHTS FROM INSIDE YOUR BRAIN!!!