It’s the fifth of November, which means two things: someone on your Twitter will be being precious about how Bonfire Night celebrates the state-sanctioned murder of dissidents, you’ll think about watching V for Vendetta but forget, and your dog is going to have a nervous breakdown. But religious freedom, dogs and those Anonymous masks are all shit, so why not read about people getting set on fire instead? It’s seasonal, and getting set on fire is way cooler than being honey-trapped by Natalie Portman in a tutu. Here’s our top 10 flaming film characters.

Whether you’re looking for something beautifully animated to watch, or simply need something to drown out the screams of your insufferable offspring, 2014 has much to offer. Whether hand-drawn, computer-generated or stop-motion, here are nine animated movies to watch out for in the coming months.

Britain’s famously drug-addled press has gone mental at the recent suggestion that Nigella Lawson may have developed a bit of a taste for Charlie over the last few years; apparently the fact that this charge is being levelled at her by her insane ex-husband / some ex-employees who she’s suing isn’t at all relevant. Go Daily Mail! We really like Nigella and we couldn’t care less what she puts in her face, so here’s some perspective.

Our beautiful friends at the Prince Charles Cinema are hosting an Arnie all-nighter this weekend – but we’ve seen Terminator 2 more times than than we care to recall, and it’s time for a change. Here are five Arnold Schwarzenegger films that might not be as good as Conan the Barbarian (which really is cracking), but are certainly different.

Stallone and Schwarzenegger together in the same film is never a bad thing, however it doesn’t exactly raise the bar in the action genre. The good thing about Escape Plan is that it never pretends to be anything more than what it is: two action legends beating the snot out of each other and blowing…

Kyrie eleison, Joss eleison, kyrie eleison…

Ok, ok, after we’ve all managed to catch our breath after the collective ARRGGHHHing, whether of excitement or despair, caused by the news that JK Rowling’s writing a new wizard thing, and after certain editors have got their rocks sufficiently off by blasting her for having the audacity to further explore her own intellectual property, let’s look at the situation with a little perspective, a phrase which here means “let’s give the girl some credit.” Here are the top ten reasons some of us are, let’s say “cautiously optimistic” about the Newt Scamander Saga.

It’s really hard to write a news story about Kick-Ass without using That Word.

With the news that Arnie’s Terminator just won’t die, we’re looking at our DVD collection to see which of our favourite movies we just want gosh darned left alone. There aren’t many left now; Star Wars is lost, Die Hard’s been beaten into the ground… there are even rumours of a Roger Rabbit sequel in the works, because apparently just nothing is sacred. So here are the top 10 sequels we hope never happen.

Glasses. They’re weird, aren’t they? Bits of plastic or glass slapped over your stupid face that either serve a purpose by bending light in the exact way that your warped and pathetic eyeballs fail to do, or they serve no purpose other than to obscure your epidermis. Why would anyone bother compiling a list of glasses? Because we’re Best For Film AND THAT’S HOW WE ROLL.