WHERE’S OLIVIA COLMAN?

Why doesn’t someone put Ricky Gervais in a silent film?

A joyful, rich and eye-meltingly beautiful celebration of cinema, an homage to artistry throughout the ages and at its roots a love story, plain and simple – silent film The Artist is as close to perfect as we’re ever likely to get. It might be a little early to place this as the best film of 2012, but frankly, no-one could blame them for being quietly (very quietly) confident about the matter.

But where’s Drive?

A silent movie in 2011? That takes some serious balls…

Malick’s film wins an award and not some French perfume

You can’t choose your family, but at least you can choose your friends, right? Guillaume Canet attempts to vocalise the complicated emotion-bank that is friendship by presenting two weeks of holidaying bessie mates, none of whom are Zach Galifianakis or Seth Rogan. Character substance over impromptu-tattooing? What brave new world is this…

Michel Hazanavicius’ sequel to the French hit Nest of Spies, OSS 117: Lost in Rio is a lame, laugh-free excuse for satire. Taking its cue from offensive stereotyping and an inability to decide if it’s screwball or satire, Jean Dujarin’s secret agent neither tickles your funny bone or provides action-based thrills.