It’s a sorry state of affairs when you realise you’re worth more dead than you are alive. It’s even worse when your own brother acts as your spokesperson, selling you down the river without giving you so much as a bodyboard to keep youself afloat. And who was it who said that blood was thicker than water? Peepli [Live], a comic satire, explores the notion of “farmer suicides” and how the media can expose a serious issue and turn it into a speculative event until everyone’s talking about it.

“The hills are alive with the sound of music”. Oh yes they are. But, the cast of The Sound of Music, whilst still living, have not been making sweet, sweet music together since the filming of the film in 1965. Hold onto your lederhosen and warm up your vocal chords as the Von-Trapp family singers are set to perform for the first time in 45 years.

Whilst in biblical times people lived for AGES (I think Noah was nine hundred and fifty when he died), life seems to have shortened somewhat. But whether it’s because the weight of sin has crushed our life span or we are just more clumsy, it makes it more amazing when someone lives a bit longer then average, currently 79.9 years in the U.K. So, let’s take our hats off to Gloria Stuart.

In many occupations there are unwritten requirements. I mean, you can’t work in a bakery if you don’t like baked goods, but I’m sure the job advertisement doesn’t state “must love bread”. However, were you making a film where the main characters are hobbits (short and slightly podgy creatures with hair from ankle to foot), and you want to half the scaling down effort, then why not advertise for what you require? Heightest? Hey, this is Hollywood.

Why is it that good guys finish last, good girls get the guy in the end and good dogs can save boys in trouble (stop looking so smug, Lassie)? Who knows, but it just keeps happening. Without wishing to give the game away, you can pretty much expect the expected in romantic comedy, Just Wright. But it’s not all bad! The good news is that this film, despite its formulaity, plays with your pleasure zones and leaves you warm and satisfied. Like tomato soup when it’s raining.

Kubrick mega-fans listen up! Rarely seen film Fear and Desire is set to be released on DVD . So, you can stop watching the ten-minute segments on Youtube, save up your pennies (it’s said to be a valuable film) and treat yourself to the newly restored version. Warning, the tag line is “Trapped…Four Desperate Men and a Strange, Half-Animal Girl”. Sounds wild!

What do you do when you fall off the horse? Why, you jump back on, of course! Or rather, on every attractive female twenty-five years younger. But aside from the sleaze, Solitary Man pushes (albeit, a few ) buttons, mainly as we question whether Ben Kalmen (Michael Douglas) is a troubled human being going through a tough time or a creep with no morals, no manners and the mind of a confused adolescent.

Creepy, shmoozing teenager, Justin Bieber is not only taking over the radio waves but he’s all spread his sacharine smile on our screens too. He’s chatting to his new mate, Will Smith who must have been charmed by Bieber’s innocence (he doesn’t fool me, he knows exactly what he’s doing) and has decided to make a film based on Bieber’s life. What life?? Isn’t he like twelve??? What could he have done with his life? I’m hoping for a 50 Cent, Get Rich or Die Trying type thing.

Everybody loves a freebie. Just ask Janet Jackson and Luther Vandross. And whilst I wouldn’t say that ALL of the best things in life are free, The Scoop is offering something truly great. Outside film screenings. And I’ve got the windswept hair to prove it. So forget about the rubbish giveaways; like flyers through your letterbox, a dress ten sizes too small that your pal gave you because she lost weight, or the free drink that ain’t alcohol (yeah thanks) because this is GOOD stuff!!

It seems that Rachel Weisz is sick of being known as the beautiful and determined pursuer of good. Be grateful, Rachel, worse things happen at sea! But rather then play an evil witch, perhaps in the upcoming Harry Potter film, she’s gone for a sexy number. Well, I guess the fat and ugly characters can wait. You gotta grab the spicey roles whilst you’ve still got your metabolism and your own teeth.