…Renee’s only in if she can stay skinny.

Is the world ending?

X-Men like standing by water, yeah!

Hats off to the ambitious Ink team for creating a gloriously immersive fantasy world on a micro-budget: no mean feat for even the most skilled of film-makers. Definitely at the upper end of the indie-spectrum, there is much originality and innovation to admire this surreal tale of one man’s redemption. It’s just a shame the dialogue never quite reaches the same heights as the rest of the production values.

Get your Italian cinema on from the 1-6th March

Congratulations guys, you really deserve it.

Something for the ladies this week… those sweet, gentle ladies who want to get gloriously, chundunderingly wankered. In short, the best kind of ladies. This week, how to drink like a roughly-tattooed captain if all you’ve got in stock is Hugh Grant wearing a variety of demure shirts.

Literally nothing is revealed.

A sweet, gentle and slightly morally ambiguous documentary about life as an Irish woman-sort, His And Hers presents its fair subjects as well-meaning, inherently good-hearted eccentrics. Which is all fine. Though it means you can’t quite shake the feeling they’d all be a lot more comfortable in the studio of Creature Comforts.

Cumberbatch and Johnny Lee Miller in a monster mash.