A dark, ambitious re-imagining of Swan Lake, with the classic ballet itself handily packed inside like an instructional Russian doll, Black Swan is visually and psychologically mesmerising. A master of suspense, Aronofsky’s sumptuous direction ensures that we never lose concentration for a moment – which, actually, may be just as well. For all its beauty, upon closer inspection it may be that there’s less originality present in Black Swan than the reviews would have us believe. But does it matter? Probably not.

He’s forced Jar Jar Binks into our collective consciousness, replaced Sebastian Shaw with Hayden Christiansen (on film, but never in our hearts) and tried to convince the world that Greedo shot first. Surely there’s nothing more George Lucas can do to pillage what remains of our treasured-yet-bleeding Star Wars memories. Well, as Jabba The Hutt would say; “ahahaha. Ohohoho”. There’s rumour of ANOTHER trilogy on the way. Just rumours mind. But still. enough to make the heart quake.

Now it seems there is split opinion when it comes to Pixar’s Cars – many people see it as the weakest of Pixar’s films to date (which, to be honest, is still a pretty high achievement). We’ve known for a while that the studio have been working on a sequel, and they’ve just released their first teaser trailer. It doesn’t exactly give much away.

Director Peter Mullan serves up a gritty account of life in Glasgow in the 1970s, aided by a brilliant cast and savvy music choices. The tale follows a young innocent slowly drawn into the violent world of the Neds (non-educated delinquents), its just a shame the director didn’t pick up any of the ever-present knives and slash away at the overly flabby screenplay.

For a film about the re-writing a political memoir, it’s rather ironic that the screenplay for Roman Polanski’s thriller should be one of its weaknesses. Characters are not fully formed in a script co-written by Polanski and Robert Harris, adapting his novel of the same name. Indeed, they are ciphers in a clunky and contrived plot that builds to a big reveal, which would be risible in less accomplished hands.

Inspired by the best-selling video games series (a sentence that always puts fear into our hearts), Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time is a rollicking escapade which marries gorgeous Moroccan locations with state-of-the-art visual effects. The time-bending storyline of Mike Newell’s big budget adventure incorporates a romantic subplot, presumably to appeal to female audiences who might otherwise give this testosterone-heavy romp a wide berth.

In American Football – the opening credits of The Blind Side inform us – the highest paid player is the Quarterback. The second highest player is the Left Tackle – as the first bill you pay might be the mortgage, but the second is always the insurance. Now for anyone not American (a spectrum that very much includes us), this poignant opening message is kind of lost. But what emerges in the preceding film is an uplifting true story that emphasizes a message of the importance of protection, loyalty and trust. Which we’re pretty sure is what the Left Tackle thing is about. Yeah, we totally speak Football!
Kick-down, touch-up and homoerotic falling down!

Pixar’s relationship with women has always had a slight question-mark over it- after all, its undeniable that they’ve yet to include a single lead female character in their impressive repertoire. Their next film, Brave would have been the first to have a female director. Power to the girls, and all that. However, rumour now has it that Chapman has left the studio, leaving the director’s chair empty. Is it simply a case of creative differences, or is there something more sinister at play?

A purposely torturous experience, you don’t so much watch Winter Vacation as experience its time-bending nothingness as one of the characters yourself. A unique film that drenches you with the lethargy of youth, it thrusts you back into your most nail-crunchingly paralysed teenage years with a pace that makes Napoleon Dynamite look like Apocalypse Now. I’m glad such a film exists. And I never want to watch it again.

Five seasons in, and we’re still guiltily addicted to the demon-based trials and tribulations of the Winchester brothers. Mixing ghoulish plots, high tension, tongue in cheek comedy and damn fine cheekbone acting, we defy anyway not to get some form of dark pleasure from this genre-defying scare-fest.