Known as Get The Gringo across the pond, How I Spent The Summer Vacation reunites co-writer and star Mel Gibson with Adrian Grunberg, who acted as Gibson’s first A.D. on 2006’s excellent Apocalypto. Replete with the Mad Mex’s trademark schlock and run through with some truly ingenious humour, you can’t help but commend Mel for not just buying a box-set, stocking up on Hob Nobs and holidaying on the sofa like the rest of us.

Boaz Yakin attempts to shrug off the conventions of the usual smash-everyone-audience-included-into-submission action film with his new Statham vehicle Safe. Initially thoughtful and controlled, but never quite committing to the restrained tone of its opening half hour, all of Safe‘s positive traits fall a little by the wayside in favour of, well, smashing everyone into submission.

The wait is finally over! After no fewer than four stand-alone prequels, the giants of Marvel’s metahuman stable explode onto the silver screen in a joyous orgy of action, wit and great big hammers. Visionary director Joss Whedon pulls off the ultimate balancing act as Earth’s Mightiest Heroes™ settle their differences for one of the most exhilarating superhero films ever.

James Huth’s French language Western is big, colourful and deeply silly. Sitting somewhere between Blazing Saddles and the Milky Bar adverts, Lucky Luke has all the right ingredients but none of the structure or depth to support itself as anything other than a cartoonish comedy. But with a cast boasting the likes of Jean Dujardin (in the days before he was George Valentin), and a whole lot of silly gags, you might find Lucky Luke a fun way to spend a couple of hours.

Kablamm! Hear that? It’s the (scientifically inaccurate) sound of space crap exploding in your face! BAZAMMM! Welcome to Lockout, people. If you’re looking for a film that’s entertaining in a kind of “We all know the drill, let’s get this over and done with shall we?” kinda way, it’s officially your lucky day. Explosions! Psychotic prisoners! Space! Guy Pearce’s upper arms! What more could you ask for? Well apart from logic and a strong story, obviously.

What exactly did you expect from an action epic based on a tea-time board game, starring John Carter, Rihanna, Liam Neeson in his sternest nose and an unexpected boat-steering pensioner whose only line is “looks like someone’s gonna BITE THE DONKEY”? Is this the greatest film ever made? Is it so dreadful I can’t see colours anymore? Why do the aliens love horses? Why is it OK to ask whether a man with prosthetic limbs might be “ONE OF THEM CYBORGS?” Is that blood running down your ears, or can tears come out of there now? Battleship has changed everything.

Soon-to-be Superman Henry Cavill hones his ‘acting like a tight t-shirted wall of brunette pointlessness’ muscles in this truly unforgivable action carcrash. Bruce Willis, Sigourney Weaver, you guys are legit – what on earth are you doing here? And by the way, Sigourney, we still haven’t talked about Abduction…

The unsolved mystery regarding the identity of Jack the Ripper has plagued mankind for decades. You know who might have stood a shot at solving it? Sherlock Holmes. Cue ‘Murder By Decree’, which tosses the famous detective into the fray and gives us an elementary solution to the unsolvable murders…

All the hallmarks of a good thriller are here, but ID: A lacks the originality (and a good title) to stick in the memory. The leading lady’s a joy to watch though, and not just because she’s cute… which she most definitely is.

Cliched performances, shallow characters and a patchy narrative. Still, it involves medieval torture and the Spanish Inquisition, so there’s at least something to see here.