Taxi Zum Klo, which translates as ‘Taxi to the Toilet’, is directed by, written by and stars Frank Ripploh as Frank Ripploh, a teacher with a very active gay sex..

Summoned to a remote cottage by relatives, a young man is preparing to leave to do volunteer charity work in Africa. But is this really what he or his family want? In a superlative British drama Joanna Hogg examines a family suffering a crisis of communication.

This time it’s George Nolfi’s turn to adapt a Philip K. Dick story as Matt Damon is pursued by the ‘fate police’ through many, many doors.

Zonad: low-budget Irish comedy featuring a sex starved fat bloke who may or may not be an alien. But isn’t. Taken in by the residents of a small village Zonad quickly makes himself at home, lusting after a virginal teenage temptress and drinking in the local pub. But the true nature of his identity is about to catch up with him.

V is for vendetta in Ken Loach’s latest, Route Irish, in which Mark Womack sets about avenging the death of popular stand-up comedian John Bishop. Armed with a PMC-busting mobile phone, Skype and a garage-full of training equipment, our hero wastes no time shouting his head off in this very serious movie about privatisation and the Iraq War.

In all honesty, you might not even need to read this review; Stonehenge Apocalypse is exactly as you imagined it when you saw the SKULL IN A MUSHROOM CLOUD on its poster. Still, know thine enemy and all that…

“Oh brilliant”, you’re thinking, “another addition to the already crowded sub-genre of Welsh films set in South America”. But hush your cynicism a while, because this one’s really good. In fact, it deserves to be one of your top 10 Welsh/South American films of all time. Though a little meandering, its grip on the hardships of human relationships and jaw-droppingly beautiful cinematography make Patagonia a cut above your average Duffy video. Duffy’s in it, is the point.

Fancy a nice little documentary about the biggest trash dump in the world? Get ready for a Cinderella story with true grit, a wonderful cast and an improbably big heart…

The Academy’s newest favourite lady is back on our screens with a film as distant from Black Swan as it’s possible to imagine (not least because Ashton Kutcher would clearly have wet himself when Winona got her stab on). As charming and funny as it is predictable and clichéd, No Strings Attached might make your day but won’t change your life.

Continuing his increasingly long-standing tradition of making films just good enough to remind you how much better they could have been, Woody Allen’s 47th outing as a writer and 44th as a director is quirky and charming – it’s a shame that a slew of solid performances aren’t enough to disguise its essential emptiness.