You don’t need us to tell you this was never going to be a good film. The title alone is enough to not only toy with your upchuck reflex, but also cause you to file this one away to the ‘only if I’m stuck on babysitting duty’ box. Still, we live in an age where kids’ films are fast becoming an art form all their own – from Up to Where the Wild Things Are, this year’s family offerings have allowed us all to shamelessly enjoy ourselves at the cinema with the under 10s. So perhaps some out there among you are curious whether The Squeakquel could rise to the occasion?

The original Universal Soldier, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren as a pair of battling super-soldiers, was released in 1999, back when the ipod was less than a glint int Steve Jobs’s eye and nobody except super nerds had heard of the Internet. Now, for the first time in 18 years, Van Damme and Lundgren have reunited to bring the smack down in Universal Soldier: Regeneration! Better late than never, guys…

Considered by many to be the last great British film of the ’90s, Human Traffic is an endearingly honest depiction of a weekend in the lives of five pill-popping twentysomethings. Credited with launching the careers of John Simm (Life on Mars) and much-maligned ‘mockney’ Danny Dyer, Human Traffic manages to capture the zeitgeist of the rave scene to perfection.

Edward Norton, an office worker unfulfilled by the monotomy of modern life teams up with the dynamic Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt) a soap salesman. Together they embark on a journey of illegal boxing, civil disobedience and ultimately the destruction of modern corporate society. But the real question that needs to be asked is; who really is Tyler Durden?

Richard E. Grant and Paul McGann star in this cult classic about two actors who go on holiday “by mistake”. Unemployed actors Withnail (Grant) and “I” (McGann) escape their 1960s Camden flat for a much-needed holiday in the countryside. However they soon discover that the country is just as, if not more stressful than living in London.

Rec, The Ring, Let The Right One In, the list goes on. Foreign horror films always seem to know how to get the adrenaline going and the new French sick flick Martyrs is no exception. The film is based around Lucie, an abused orphan (this is the first clue that the film is going to be uncomfortable viewing) who, along with her childhood friend Anna look for revenge on her past tormentors. The tormentors seem to be, on the outside, a regular suburban couple and you start to think Lucie has made a mistake. Lucie kills the couple and their children as well as her taking her own life, leaving Anna behind.

An undeniably bleak snapshot of adolescence in ‘Broken Britain’, the critically acclaimed and BAFTA award-winning Fish Tank is a thoroughly captivating experience from start to finish. Centred upon the character of Mia Williams, Fish Tank offers much more than the usual gritty portrayal of teenage life in urban Britain.

We join Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) and the gang in the sixth instalment of J. K Rowling’s seven part story of sorcerers and spells. Lord Voldermort has returned in full glory and both the wizarding world and the muggle world are in turmoil.

Based on two memoirs set more than 50 years apart it’s a story about self-discovery, relationships, the art of French cuisine and how to boil the perfect egg. We cut between the 1950’s and 2002 where Meryl Strepe and Amy Adams show us the way around a kitchen and how food can make or break a relationship.

After the gross exercise in smug self-indulgence that was Kill Bill and the sadly inconsequential tackiness of Death Proof, Quentin Tarantino looks to be back on form in the utterly demented joy that is Inglourious Basterds.