Against all odds, Adam Sandler sinks even lower

Obviously, by this point, we’ve all given up on Adam Sandler. That’s fair, right? After the reeking disaster that was Grownups, the foul horror that was Just Go With It, and the no-doubt Godless sore that will be Jack And Jill, the very most we can hope for is that Adam Sandler never moves any of his limbs ever again. Sadly, we’re but crazy dreamers. He’s just signed on to produce and star in Candyland: The Movie. As in, the board game, but now it’s a movie. And our very hands feel cursed just for typing those words.

Hasbro has today announced that Sandler’s Happy Madison productions will take charge of the new film, promising Adam Sandler in all his big-t-shirted, egg-faced glory. This time with added MULTI-PLAYER. Literally nothing is known about the film yet, except that Kevin Lima of Enchanted fame is set to direct, and that Sandler and Robert Smigel (of slightly less exciting “I helped write Don’t Mess With The Zohan” fame) will be having a bash at the script. Apparently it’s going to be like “Lord of the Rings, but set in a world of candy.” Jesus holy Christ.

Is there anything left of any worth in this world? Will Sandler go on to destroy kittens and unicorns for us next? Leave your thoughts below…

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