This just in – although nothing’s signed, Bradley Cooper is the first star to be positively associated with Steven Soderbergh’s imminent adaptation of classic TV series The Man From U.N.C.L.E..

We’re obviously far too young to have seen the show in question, but according to Wikipedia it involves an international law enforcement organisation with a stupid name, an American and a Russian trotting around together in defiance of the Cold War and a SMERSH-alike supergang called T.H.R.U.S.H. (no, really) trying to take over the world. Standard.

Bradley Cooper is being courted by Warner Bros for the role of Napoleon Solo, a character created by Ian Fleming himself as a slightly less fucking mental small-screen version of James Bond. There is as yet no word on who’ll play Illya Kuryakin, Solo’s enigmatic Russian partner, or whether George Clooney will be involved as was rumoured last year.

The film will be set in the 60s like the original show, because updating it would be stupid and kill the premise, and it’ll probably be quite good because Steven Soderbergh is quite good. And he’s only got three films left until he retires, so now is not the time to make more nonsense like Schizopolis.

What? Sometimes we just report what’s actually happened – you can’t have a joke this time. Is that all we are to you? For shame.