….In his next film, at least. Having turned down the role of Will ‘as boring as a dead crab’ Turner in the new Pirates Of The Caribbean film, we’ve been wondering what will fill the void. And apparently it’ll be playing a psychopathic doctor in a new indie film written by Veronica Mars creator John Embom. At least it’ll give him a chance to be upstaged by someone other than Johnny Depp.

The film, entitled The Good Doctor, will be (according to The Hollywood Reporter) a Hitchcokian thriller, in which Dr Orlando tampers with an 18 year-old patient’s medication so that she’ll have to stay in his care. He suffers from horrible insecurities, and the young girl finally gives him the self-esteem he craves. But at what cost? At best, this could be a darkly comic, sharp and witty little thriller. At worst, two hours of Orlando sternly looking after a sickly looking and anemic teenage girl. Much like in the plot of Pirates then.