Oscars still up for grabs as Academy extends voting
Confirming the general belief (backed up by these terrifying statistics) that the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is hilariously out of date and irrelevant, the body of (largely) old (largely) white (largely) men responsible for doling out the Oscars has proved incapable of coping with the modern world. Are you surprised? We’re not, and neither is anyone who was up against Sandra Bullock when she won for that nonsense about football.
For the first time ever, the 5000+ members of the Academy have been able to cast their votes online – except, of course, that most of them haven’t been able to because the average age of an Academy member is 62. In response, the deadline for votes has been pushed back a day to 5pm on January 4th, on the apparent basis that the only respondent to date has been Russell Brand (yes, he’s a member) and he didn’t actually name any films or actors, he just attached lots of borderline-illegal porn and a photo of himself grinning mindlessly with a tramp. Even the relatively young and in-touch Morgan Spurlock (Supersize Me) complained that he was unable to log in and eventually got locked out of the system, although that may be because the Oscars are in league with other massive American institutions like McDonald’s and the global Jewish lizard-men cabal, and you’ve got to expect those guys to stick together.
Despite the Academy’s best efforts, its leap into the digital age is bound to prompt a low response from doddering Oscar voters. Will it affect the 85th Oscars in any way that we can notice? Probably not, but that won’t stop people speculating! We call Miley Cyrus for Best Actress.