Skins: The Movie? Who is Standing in The Way of Control?

That’s right.  After four seasons of putting sex-driven, drug-dabbling teenagers on the telly, the Skins creators have decided to take it off the box and put it onto the silver screen.  Or rather, a sticky, vomit-stained, plastic window.

Charlie Pattinson, Director of Company sees the film as the next big step in the Skins adventure and is confident the team can produce “yet another unique Skins experience”.  Puh-lease, not another one!

Call me Grandma, but one episode of Skins is enough to leave me crawling for my slippers and cardigan.  I just want to turn around and say in my best Super Nanny voice “It’s late, you’re tired, you’re over excited and you’re beginning to show off.”

Now get yourself onto the naughty step.  And put that girl down.

But if you are a rock and roll, hip, fly, reckless rebel-without-a-cause, who loves a “bangin'” house party, enjoys The Gossip on loop, running away from potential chasers and flashing lights and are capable of watching such debauchery for more then forty-eight minutes a week, then Skins: The Movie sounds right up your street.  Or wee-stained alley.

The film is said to be based around the second series, although there is talk of a return of previous characters Anwar (Dev Patel), Tony (Nicholas Hoult) and Effy (Kaya Scodelario).  However, Chris and Freddie will not be returning from the dead to star.  Boo hoo.

If it were up to me, I would kill them all off.  And have a party.  With silly string.

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