We’ll tell you how he became the Fresh Prince of a town called shithole.
Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 is out this Friday. SCREAM SCREAM SWOONY DREAMZ OMFG ZZZZZ3333. Everyone is going to poop when they see this film. In honour of it coming into the world like a screaming demon baby that claws its way out, bloodied and howling, from the ruins of its mothers womb, BFF have compiled a list of the Top 10 Worst Films that the Cast of Twilight Had A Hand In. Or: the Top Ten Films Cursed by Twilight. Enjoy.
What would happen if the creators of Catfish, Doctor Who and Saw all got together, downed a few pints and then decided to make a film? Why, you’d get Panic Button of course!
How you’re supposed to fight your way through the spiky cinematic maze of Tinkers, Drivers, Abductors, Soldiers, Warriors and Soul Surfers is anyone’s guess – it’s damn fortunate then that a bit of orangey vitamin C will enhance your eyesight in the dark confusion. What? Oh whatever, all vitamins are the same, probably.
Holy pineapple chunks, Batman – it’s a brand new feature! Today and on every weekend until the Earth is consumed by fire and ice, we will be bringing you the pick of the week’s film gossip in a format so accessible, democratic and toothsome you might well mistake it for Peaches Geldof’s ladygarden. It’s time to round up the news…
Romantic films are the scourge of all that is good and true. But imagine if you could appropriate the romantic, cinematic charisma of XXX or the wit of YYY for your VERY OWN. Osmose our romantic quotes from films into your heart and out of your cheatin’ mouth come Valentine’s Day, and you’re made in the shade. You don’t even have to subject yourself to a rom-com to do it…
As if the first trailer-vomitus wasn’t enough to assure the free-thinking world that the cancer that is Twilight (and its associations) will inevitably defile the sanctity of all enduring traditions and literary archetypes, the second instalment of this nightmare only compounds the impending doom.
A chilling supernatural drama that seeks to define what peace on earth really means.
Snipe London
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