Kicking giant monster ass

Don’t take advantage of our love, Ryan.

I don’t know about you, but we’re hoping for really crummy weather this summer. Rain, sleet, fog and whatever else God’s got in his “let’s piss them right off” bag; it’s the only way that we won’t feel guilty about spending the entire time at the cinema. A lot of heavy hitters are coming our way in summer 2011, so give up on your tan (lets be honest, you’ve been a lost cause from the start) and throw away any sunny specs that aren’t 3D compatible – it’s cinema summer checklist time.

Tron Legacy, I feel for you. Why everyone is so surprised that you’ve turned out to be massively silly is beyond me. Tron was massively silly, and as we all know by now, the 00’s light-tastic apple never really falls far from the 80s synth tree. Hopelessly beautiful to look at, 3D-licious and utterly bonkers, there’s a lot to enjoy in this sexed-up sequel. Just as soon as you stop worrying about what on earth is going on.

When we last left TV’s favourite unhinged doctor, he’d been indirectly responsible for the death of his only friend Wilson’s girlfriend and new-school team member Thirteen had discovered she had Huntington’s Disease. Despite some early uneasiness while these plot issues resolve themselves, season five generally continues the hit show’s original formula with entertaining success. There’s a darker edge to this season, however, as the real House behind the sarcastic quips is discovered in depth.

Hurrah snakes and relief cats – Best For Film towers is no longer a sad, lonely and worryingly stained place. To celebrate the new blood keeping John and Tash animated until the thirst must be slaked again we say to you: TIS WEDNESDAY. TIS TIME FOR DISCOUNT CINEMA.

Cowboys. Aliens. Bond. Han. Indy, for that matter. The guy who made Iron Man. The guy who made Iron Man 2. (They’re the same guy, FYI.) COWBOYS. ALIENS. If this film were a razor, it would have twelve blades, an Unobtanium handle, a cloaking device and an attachment which provoked shuddering orgasm in every woman within two miles. For a frantic, unashamed wet dream of a film, it’s quite watchable.