It’s Wednesday! Wednesday! Gotta get down on Wednesday! Everybody’s looking forward to the half-price cinema experience, half-price cinema experience! Actually, Rebecca Black would probably shit herself with confusion if she went into a cinema; a choice of two seating options bemuses her, for God’s sake, she’d never cope. And Odeon don’t even do reserved seats! Blimey. Time to get your citrus on, guys and gals!

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug is a horrendous mishmash of CGI-dependent action sequences and poorly-paced unconvincing drama; but rather like a dwarf in a river-borne barrel, it bobs along rather nicely. Also like a dwarf, it carries quite a lot of extra flab around the middle, but its unassailable charisma and magnificent facial hair…

There are any numbers of reasons to ignore We’re the Millers, and many more to dismiss it as yet another platform for the world to check in on how Jennifer Aniston’s arse is holding together (very nicely, as it turns out). Like most comedies, we’re inclined to sneer outright unless it fulfils a number of…

Substandard treatment at the silver-screen for wheelchair-users is an archaic notion that still affects many cinema-goers in 2011. The Muscular Dystrophy Campaign Trailblazers, a group of disabled young people campaigning on social issues, have launched their findings on a report into cinema access for wheel-chair users, with appallingly disappointing results.

A strategic yacht with an extra long and pointy mast sails beneath a woman falling from airborne wreckage; spearing her guts out in an awesome splatter of blood and gore. It could only be Final Destination… in 3D! Again. Derivative, repetitive and deeply boring, it’s time Death came for this tired old franchise.

Ridley Scott presents Life in a Day, an extraordinary and ambitious insight into a day in the life of the human race. Compiling and consolidating over 4,500 hours of amateur footage, from 80,000 submissions and 140 nations, director Kevin MacDonald has created a coherent, compelling and delightfully accomplished snapshot in time.

If every one of our OWLingly good Wednesday blogs turned into 14.95 Spartans, we’d have 299 Spartans! Which is nearly enough for a party. Unfortunately, what we’d actually have is 280 proper Spartans and 19 that were missing some toes, which isn’t ideal. If only there was another number we could multiply 20 by… Anyway, what’re you watching this week? We know, and we’re TELLING YOU IN WORDS, LIKE.

Wall-E nearly had massive blobby aliens instead of humans? GOOD call, other decision making person.

Fancy spending an hour as a real-life action hero? Foreign film float your boat? Maybe a good old fashioned sing-song’s more your thing? Whatever your bag, we’ve tracked down the top film related fun stuff happening around the capital.

Turns out the hope we held out for Brothers wasn’t unwarranted. This tragic portrait of the effects of war on young lives brims with real emotion and powerhouse performances from its lead actors, particularly Tobey Maguire and Natalie Portman. For the most part, despite the potential for cheese in its subject matter (man goes off to war, brother steps in to fill his shoes on the home front, man turns out not to be dead and returns to awkward situation in family), the narrative avoids cliche and leaves you with a real, confronting sense of heartbreak. It’s a harrowing film experience that hits you right in the guts, and it could well be the resurrection of Maguire’s post-Peter Parker career.