…And we don’t mean because of that unfortunate Brother Bear episode. The Disney Corporation are famously careful for keeping their secrets firmly to their brightly coloured, endlessly cheery chests, and it’s time we all knew a little more about their dastardly working habits. No wonder their villains are so convincing…

There hasn’t been a really, really good film about Jesus for ages, has there? Actually, there hasn’t ever been one – they’re either unpleasantly graphic (The Passion of the Christ) or cringeworthily obsequious (everything else). We can’t be doing with this dearth of watchable Jesus biopics, so we’ve suggested a few leading men (and ladies) who might be up to the job…

The Buffy reboot is happening, and while we think this bites the time has come (I think there was a memo) to give up on objectivity. As such, may I present Best or Film’s completely subjective guide to who might make a half-decent vampire slayer. Should you be a true Whedonite the following list will seem insane, controversial and completely without fruit. The harsh reality is, however, Natalie Portman is probably busy and Megan Fox is a much likelier choice even if she wasn’t, anyway. It’s like a whole big sucking thing, and this is the best we could do.

Tim Burton has done it again with his latest Christmas movie that is sure to make audiences chortle in delight as they sympathize with Santa and his elves as they try to keep Christmas running despite the government’s efforts to stop it.

This is the age of the remake, when it seems nothing is sacred. These are perhaps the most untouchable films , and what we think the suits would try to do if they got hold of them. Read on for some truly horrifying scenarios…..

Zac Efron to play Kaneda? All is not lost! Is Morgan Freeman set to join project?

Oh boy. Charlie St. Cloud may be handsome but he sure is weird. Really intense and looks like he’s going to burst into tears at any moment. And he does. Quite a lot. After the death of his younger brother, Charlie’s sense of responsibility for the fatal accident finds him as a caretaker of the graveyard where his brother is buried. And what does he do for fun? He hangs out with the dead eleven-year-old every day at sunset. Party time!

Before we all burst into tears (of joy or despair, depending on your love of sparkles), we have to tell you that a Glee film is not definitely in the making, only that certain facts about the Glee cast’s contracts have come to light. It turns out that those sneaky critters at Fox (cunning as a?) thought very carefully about this franchise before they got their cast to sign on the dotted line, as they are all locked in for three feature films if the company so wishes.

Could it be? Kevin Bacon back in our hearts, where he belongs? Maybe not. But the story that made him famous; that of a teenager who discovers that his new hometown has outlawed rock music and dancing, might very well be back on our screens. And who’s heading it up? Non other than Black Snake Moan’s Craig Brewer.

Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner of Twilight fame join Zac Efron and Miley Cyrus as Oscar hosts this year, a decision which some find surprising. With the teen market being marketed too so heavily, some people are worried that the Academy Awards might be losing a little of its prestige.