We were going to come up with an invented weather spell, but life’s too short.

Have you ever thought, we mean really thought, about Sean Penn? We have. And lo and behold one of us thinks he’s of the Parker fountain Penn of Hollywood, and the other thinks he’s just the biro that the dog has chewed and oh god someone call the vet, it’s choking.

THEY’RE HERE! The first images of dwarves Nori, Dori and Ori from the eagerly anticipated film The Hobbit, have finally been released.

Seriously Ruben Fleischer, you’re spoiling us.

Hopefully she won’t have to steal as many dogs this time round.

Having won Best UK Feature at Edinburgh International Film Festival, David MacKenzie’s Perfect Sense is an exciting mix of romantic drama and sci-fi thriller that excels in originality. Providing a fresh look on apocalyptic catastrophe, it explores an unfolding romance it the most unlikely of circumstances.

A typical hunting trip in the woods goes awry when a few argumentative men become the victims, or ‘prey’, of a group of infected and bloodthirsty beasts. Devoid of any filmmaking conviction, Prey feels like Dog Soldiers meets Jurassic Park meets Animal Farm. Failing to scare or even entertain, this rural horror is so tame that for all its narrative coherence it should simply be called ‘Attack of the Toothy Pigs’.

Directed by the late David Hemmings, whose acting credits include Gladiator and Gangs Of New York, The Survivor is a tense, psychological horror, but one that raises more questions than it answers. Sometimes tense, sometimes scary, sometimes making no sense whatsoever, The Survivor is a captivating watch. Though I guarantee you’ll spend most of it baffled at how much Robert Powell and Jenny Agutter look alike.

Watch out pussycats.

Tired of going to a bland old West End cinema, paying £8 for a popcorn combo and crying salty tears all the way through the latest piece of superhero big budget low quality rubbish, lamenting the state of exhibition practices these days? Do you long for the days of all nighters, of midnight movies, of dirty dive bars that stick a blanket to the wall as a makeshift screen? Well, you’re not the only one, as we pay tribute to the groups that are bringing movies out of the cinema, and re-igniting our love for the big screen.