It’s back! But in French, kind of blurry, and we still don’t know what’s going on….

With just a few weeks to go until the release of Super 8, we really need to pick up the pace if we’re going to crack the monster mystery. So, like monster hunters including Gabriel Van Helsing and Allan Quatermain (and possibly some who aren’t from dire fantasy films), we’ve headed to Paris in search of THE CREATURE…

Yes, you guessed it, it’s that long awaited Garth Brooks biopic…jokes.

Much more exciting than The Princess of Montpensier but somewhat less digestible than The Tudors, Henry of Navarre is another one of those films where men charge around on horseback/wave swords/wave swords from horseback and women take their clothes off more than is strictly necessary. If that’s your bag, it’s pretty darn fine.

The release of Bridesmaids has this week found itself hailed as that rare thing – a female-led comedy. Women are frequently relegated to a supporting role, especially so in comedy, often reduced to simply acting as a foil or counterpart to the male lead. It’s important to remember then, that the ladies can bring the funny. We celebrate the comedy roles that only come double-breasted, as well as the women sporting them so fabulously.

Just pretend you don’t know what an America is.

James Bond and Evey O’Connell? Their kids are going to be bad. ASS.

But… it’s rubbish, yes?

This summer, you can hardly move for superhero films – and Green Lantern aside, we’ve seen most of the stars before. All the classic heroes have had a fair few outings with different faces by now, and if there’s one thing we hate about competition it’s not knowing who’s the WINNER. Feel like arbitrarily deciding whether Michael Keaton’s better at being grumpy than Christian Bale? Good.

If this film had come out three or four years ago, it almost certainly would have sunk Martin Freeman’s career without trace – and even as it stands, he’d better hope Peter Jackson never gets wind of it. Crude, unfunny, technically negligible and featuring an unforgivable scene starring Mandy Moore and a cucumber, this is the worst British ‘comedy’ in years.