Will Smith handing in his notice as a Galaxy Defennndeeeeer

The anomaly here is this: who on earth is Luke Hemsworth?

People have jams nowadays don’t they? Like, they don’t have interests or hobbies, they have jams? Don’t lie to me, I know it’s true, I’ve seen it on the Twitter – “so and so is my jam”, “this song is totally my JAM!” – yeah? Well, in the spirit of seeming up to date, Werner Herzog is most definitely my jam.

This film is getting curious-er and curious-er.

Remember the good old days? Before you decided it would be a good idea to watch ‘A Serbian Film’ because everyone told you not to (seriously, don’t). You know, when horror could be scary without damaging you and all your subsequent relationships for the rest of your life. Back when all the kids at school were talking about that awesome new American movie with the big silver ring and the videotape that makes you die. Well now it’s time to look shamefully back, and chastise your adolescent self for thinking for one second that a western remake of that ‘movie with the creepy Japanese girl’ could come anywhere close to its original. Welcome to the world of J-horror.

Jim Carrey does his best to try something new, simply regurgitates Me, Myself and Irene instead

We feel the same as after the first time we saw Jaws – there’s no getting back into the water for a while

Please, Penélope, use protection. Bond looks as though he’s a repository for every sexually-communicable disease out there.

Come ON, Superman, we all need saving from no-you-induced boredom.

Being given a role in Guardians of the Galaxy must be like jury duty.