Hurrah for the bloody goriness that is Guy Fawkes day! A proud, dastardly time indeed in our national history, and a great excuse to give children some fire to mess around with. So considering the film world is usually so ready and willing to hijack our most exciting tales, our question is, where are the films to accompany Bonfire Night?

In a stunning move of deep fatality, we look back over the most-hyped films that turned out to be absolute train wrecks. Arm yourself with tear ducts of concrete and a stomach of fists – this is not a pretty trip down memory lane…

You know the Cravendale adverts? You know, the stop-motion animation where a cow, a pirate and a cyclist all live together, living off milk and competing in musical statue for the last glass? Well, picture a feature length film in that style, in French and with more imagination then you could use to power the whole of Whoville and you’ve got the gloriously absurd and playful A Town Called Panic.

No more travesties like Alice in Wonderland 3D! Tim Burton is set to produce Big Eyes and direct The Addams Family. Both films will be lovingly scripted by the writers of Ed Wood…

It has been confirmed that Tim Burton will develop and direct a film adaptation of the board game, Monsterpocalypse.

We explore the low-budget short films of Jan Svankmajer, and ask whether escapism needs to be an expensive venture…

Alice had the best opening week in US history, grossing $116 million and getting rave reviews for it’s gloriously inventive visuals. There’s no denying that visually, Alice is a treat. But despite the exuberant effects, play with perspective and 3D glory, it cannot be denied that in terms of story, Alice is more than lacking.

Recession? What recession? In the UK 3D films How To Train Your Dragon and Clash Of The Titans have smashed box office takings, making the Easter weekend the second most lucrative in the past 12 months.

Last week we reported that there’s a new Disney film in the works, a re-telling of Sleeping Beauty from the wicked witch’s POV. There was no name attached to the big bad part of Maleficent at the time, but it could be that the Queen of Hollywood herself, Angelina Jolie, might step up to play the role.

Disney are planning to make a movie from the point of view of the ultimate bad-gal – Maleficent, the woman who curse the beautiful dozy maiden Sleeping Beauty to sleep forever. And she turns into a dragon quite a lot, which is also pretty bad-ass. It’s sounds very Wicked to us (ie the musical that tells The Wizard Of Oz from the wicked witch’s point of view. Not that we’ve seen it. Or own the soundtrack.)