If* we ever build a time machine, Adam, we’re going back to 1966 to kick your mum in the stomach. *When

Weinsteins plan to turn the new Keith Chegwin into the new Dudley Moore.

“Mononymous?” we hear you cry, “What the deuce does that mean?” Don’t worry. Let us explain. Martin Scorsese’s Hugo is out today and in order to celebrate this momentous occasion, we have decided to prepare for you a list of the top ten films with titles that are a single name. Apparently, “mononymous” means this, thus we bring you the Top Ten Mononymous Film Titles.

Boo.

Another Friday, another needlessly aggressive exploration of a divisive subject. This week in the firing line is the lanky king of arrogantly verbose titillation: Russell Brand.

Oh, Russell. You’re very lovely, we’ve known that for many years, but when will you stop playing the embarrassingly over-privileged cheeky chappy with a history of raucous and debauched behaviour – all pretty method – and actually do something worth watching? Arthur is elaborate, sparkly, charming and ultimately pointless, like an ornamental unicorn goad carved from a huge rock crystal by blind nuns. Exactly like that.

Oh my shit, it’s April! And it’s brought along not only Fools’ Days, sweet spring showers and the prospect of some chinless wonder marrying a Sloane, but also a batch of fresh and steaming new films – some promising, others less so. Stick around as we sift through this month’s cinematic offerings week by week and separate the fresh fish (FRESH FISH, Glen Coco!) from the distinctly murky tuna salad…

At it like rabbits…

It’s the same as the first one but with more exciting hats.

It’s a bit wrong.