With the release of Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon so, so nearly here, we take a look at some of the best moments from the epic, destiny-ridden films of movie maestro Michael Bay

…which immediately makes us want to see it

No Ben, he is not copying everything you do…

Ben, Ben, Ben. You’ve always been the butt of everyone’s jokes. But does you actually deserve it? Probably. But nonetheless we’ve got one imbecile arguing in his corner…someone’s got to.

Great Ga’hoole!

Woe.

Holy pineapple chunks, Batman – it’s a brand new feature! Today and on every weekend until the Earth is consumed by fire and ice, we will be bringing you the pick of the week’s film gossip in a format so accessible, democratic and toothsome you might well mistake it for Peaches Geldof’s ladygarden. It’s time to round up the news…

Erm… Can he act?

Recessions are rubbish, that’s pretty much a given. However, there is one distinct upside to the spectacular financial crash which has bankrupted and disenfranchised millions in the last four years; some really bloody good films have come out of it. We’ve had Up in the Air, Inside Job – and now The Company Men, which will make you empathise with a hugely well-paid executive more than you would have thought possible.

How do you know what you’re going to see at the cinema next month? You’re busy people – Facebook won’t update itself, and you’ve probably got a relationship to neglect or something. Oh, you haven’t? Sorry. Well, there’s no point in trying to meet another human adult now, you may as well just read this blog.