At Cheat Sheet Villas (it’s a granny flat in the grounds of Best For Film Towers), we’re always on the lookout for stars with a less extravagant public profile than the Britneys and LiLos of the world; then we expose them and shamelessly drag all their secrets into the merciless light of day like squirming vampire children being torn from their coffins. This week, it’s the turn of screenwriter extraordinaire Jane Goldman!

The cult of Burton lures another willing victim…

Good decisions all round. Just about.

Crazy bitch Juliette Lewis gets back to her hillbilly, gun-toting role-roots, and it’s about damned time.

As the stage is set for another bloody awful year of Nicolas Cage releasing eight thousand crappy films, we thought we’d take you on a whistle-stop tour back through his entire demented oeuvre since the Millennium. Not suitable for readers who are sensitive to unpleasant hairstyles.

We know, we know. You loved Let The Right One In, and you’re sick of Hollywood rehashing every good Swedish film ever made, so you’re not going to bother seeing Let Me In even though you liked Chloe Moretz in Kick-Ass. STOP RIGHT THERE. A faithful remake enlivened by sensitive direction and some truly extraordinary performances, this is a film which stands squarely on its own two blood-spattered feet.

All parents have a list of films they don’t want their children to see. Mother and Father would rather not put up with the aftermath; nightmares and potential bed-wetting. But get over it Ma and Pa, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. Note to Chloe Moretz’s mum, if your precious child is hard enough to play a killer vampire, a bit of horror ain’t gonna hurt. So unchain the telly, if you please.

A strong cast and excellent animation sequences don’t quite make up for the hollow sentiment offered by Diary Of A Wimpy Kid. Though it tries – and in some parts succeeds – to be a cool comedy for kids and adults, an obvious plot and empty morality means that you’re never really rooting for the (not especially) wimpy protagonist.

Enter the next generation of comic-book movies. Kick-Ass is truly a brilliant and original take on a sorely overdone franchise, but if you’re looking for a laugh-a-minute flick you’ve come to the wrong place. Kick-Ass is not for the faint of heart, with humour as black as coal and violence to rival the goriest of horrors. However, it could be that it’s all the better for its darkness. Though its pretty impossible to avoid the hundreds of stars thrown in Kick-Ass’s direction, we tried our very hardest to come to it with an open mind. And we’re glad we did.

“Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love. Girl doesn’t.” Marc Webb’s 500 Days of Summer is refreshing because as its tag-line suggests, it tells the truth about love. Sometimes things just don’t work out. Simple. And that’s fine.