We think.

It’s thicker than water but a lot messier as well

Grotesque tentacle mutations finally come to Hollywood

‘This is a film about a runaway train.’ The previous sentence is true, but it completely fails to capture the essential magnificence of Unstoppable so we’re going to try another sentence. ‘This is a film directed by Tony ‘Top Gun’ Scott in which Malcolm X and James T Kirk have to drive a train 80mph – in reverse – in order to chase down a half-mile long locomotive missile before it mashes an entire city.’ Yeah, that’s more like it.

We need to be honest with you… we’re nerds – pocket protector owning, corduroy wearing, Windows 3.1 loving nerds and have been long before it became quasi-cool (thanks Pharrell). While our playground peers were debating The Ultimate Warrior and Hulk Hogan, we were having deep discussions about phasers, warp drives and why Captain Kirk would make the best dad ever. This makes us the worst type of nerd – a Star Trek nerd. And while we’ve never gone to a convention, it didn’t stop us pestering our mother’s in to making us a Federation captain’s uniform out of a knitted yellow jumper, some kitchen foil and a carefully cut egg carton. Hence you can only imagine our trepidation at the prospect of the Mr. Mission Impossible 3 J.J. Abram’s, reboot – but we and our fellow geeks needn’t have worried.

While it might have made a great TV series, Carriers isn’t actually a bad film. And if that sounds like damning with faint praise, well… that’s because it is.