What do a dying Sheikh, a bunch of SAS guys and Clive Owen with a dodgy moustache have in common? They all want to screw up Jason Statham’s day, and he won’t let them. Killer Elite tells the story of an ex-hitman out of retirement for One Last Hurrah. It’s not as predictable as you might think. Oddly, that doesn’t help matters.

Good films are our favourite kind of films, and it’s pretty hard to make a good film out of a rubbish script. As a result, most good films have pretty good scripts. But sometimes, even in the very best films, there are lines so arse-shatteringly dreadful that they cause nearby birds to explode. Here’s some of those.

Although we have been faced with many films documenting the world of internet sex predators and their victims, Ross from Friends a.k.a David Schwimmer clearly felt that making another one was the right way to go for his second major movie directorial. Expect a lot of look away moments.

Holy pineapple chunks, Batman – it’s a brand new feature! Today and on every weekend until the Earth is consumed by fire and ice, we will be bringing you the pick of the week’s film gossip in a format so accessible, democratic and toothsome you might well mistake it for Peaches Geldof’s ladygarden. It’s time to round up the news…

Guy Pearce would have been better

Ten years of film all neatly rolled into one awesomely epic list of greats! Feast your eyes on the Top 30 Films of the Decade.

Hurrah for us Brits! According to this year’s Toronto Film Festival line-up we’ve got a lot to look forward to in terms of British cinema, with 12 Brit entrants making it into the official selection. Interestingly enough, 8 out the 12 – yep, that’s two thirds – are backed and supported by the UK Film Council (which is why you should sign the official petition to save it here).

The Boys are Back doesn’t work as well as it thinks it does. By all accounts, it should be a stand-out for the drama genre this year – a teary but heart-warming memoir of an absentee dad thrust into single parenthood, brought to the screen by the king of the subtle dramatic performance, Clive Owen. Add in some lovely scenic shots of the South Australian coast and acclaimed Shine director Scott Hicks at the helm, and you should be onto a winner. While it’s an interesting look at what loss can do to a family, it’s not exactly a warm-and-fuzzy tale for the ages.

You could be forgiven for thinking this film was another brutal gangster flick. But despite the somewhat misleading title and dramatic black and white posters currently lining tube stations to promote its release, it’s actually as for from the shoot-em-up genre as you can get.