The Legend of Hercules, which is described as being “from the makers of Olympus Has Fallen” despite sharing neither director, writers nor producers with Antoine Fuqua’s latest carcrash, is heading for the UK after receiving a critical and commercial drubbing in the home of the awful action movie. On the basis of the new trailer, here’s why you mustn’t see it.
We are now entering what used to be called the dead days: that is, the days between Christmas Eve and New Year’s Day. It’s traditionally a time for witchery, magic, and mystery- and so, here at BFF we’ve compiled a list of films for each of the dead days, specially designed to bring you all the adventure, magic, mystery and witchery you could possibly want while sitting on the sofa in your Christmas PJs.
How do you make a demi-god with a lionskin hat boring?
My colours have been nailed to Disney’s mast for a long while. Sure, from the outside looking in they’re a massively corporate entity that’s prime focus at all times is on turning a profit. Sure, they’re founded by a fascist (who isn’t these days, am I right?!). Neither of these things negates the fact that they make brilliant films. But hey, come on guys, what’s the best Disney film? Aristocats maybe, who doesn’t love a singing jazz cat? Not this guy! Or wait, Beauty & The Beast is a classic, Stockholm syndrome ‘n that, plus you know the beast would be dynamite in bed – he’s literally a beast.
Extra! Extra! Hollywood continues to be full of beautiful men doing things!
Do you know what? Good Friday is depressing. It’s all about Jesus dying, in pain and agony, and we can’t think of a more misleading religious holiday. It should be called… I dunno, BAD Friday. DEAD Friday. Something more honest, at least. Whatever. Because we’re good people, we’re going to inject the ‘Good’ back into our Friday with lots of alcohol and plenty of Jesus-fuelled fun. it’s what he would’ve wanted…
The Rock gets a double-axe wielding maniac for a sidekick. Yeah.
Disney films are, as we all know, based on inspiring stories of good overcoming evil. Or are they? Think vandalism, self-sacrifice, kidnap, false imprisonment, blackmail and murder. Think regicide. Think false heroes paraded through the world of animation, held up as icons to children too young to know better. But WE know better. And while you might think Maleficent, Captain Hook and the numerous Wicked Stepmothers are the bad guys of Disney, you’re sorely mistaken.
It’s time to take a long hard look at the top 10 real Disney villains – and, this time around, they’re paying for their crimes…
Rise Of The Guardians is a technically impressive piece of work from the folks at DreamWorks who brought you the spectacular How To Train Your Dragon. It really is quite lovely to watch. Unfortunately, this is where we must get off the positivity train and enter the dark and rotting sled that is everything else about this film. The plot, the characters, the story – all must obey the cardinal rule of a kids film: Don’t be boring. It is a rule that Rise Of The Guardians breaks with aplomb.
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