You’ve all seen Marvel Avengers Assemble by now, right? Well, we have some theories about that mysterious fellow who showed up at the end. Massive spoiler warnings from hereonin, obviously, but if you’re wondering why people keep saying things like ‘Thanos’, ‘Infinity Gauntlet’ and ‘destroying half of all the living creatures in existence’ then you’d better read on…

The wait is finally over! After no fewer than four stand-alone prequels, the giants of Marvel’s metahuman stable explode onto the silver screen in a joyous orgy of action, wit and great big hammers. Visionary director Joss Whedon pulls off the ultimate balancing act as Earth’s Mightiest Heroes™ settle their differences for one of the most exhilarating superhero films ever.

Remember how good Buffy was? And Firefly and Serenity? And Angel? And Firefly? DO YOU REMEMBER? DO YOU? Here at BFF we remember because, much like elephants well-versed in the art of watching films and TV shows and writing nonsense about them, WE NEVER FORGET ABOUT THOSE FILMS AND TV SHOWS. To cut a long story very short (because we’re all wetting ourselves over the release of Cabin in the Woods and need to get to the toilet pronto) we bring you a Top Ten list that would make even Terrence Malick quake in his hermit boots. So here, take these words and read them knowing there’s no way you will ever be as good a person as Joss Whedon. Oh, and, we should probably say….SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS.

We still care. Honestly we do.

If you look at them really quickly at 24fps, it’s basically like a very poorly edited film that lasts half a second.

*nerdgasm*

Assemble! No, you all need to bunch in a bit – Bruce, can you stand at the back? Don’t look straight at the camera, Tony…

Cowboys. Aliens. Bond. Han. Indy, for that matter. The guy who made Iron Man. The guy who made Iron Man 2. (They’re the same guy, FYI.) COWBOYS. ALIENS. If this film were a razor, it would have twelve blades, an Unobtanium handle, a cloaking device and an attachment which provoked shuddering orgasm in every woman within two miles. For a frantic, unashamed wet dream of a film, it’s quite watchable.

Da dada daaaaa! The time is finally here! Captain America: The First Avenger has stormed onto our screens sending the world into a hysterical frenzy. To mark this historic event, we celebrate Marvel’s untouchable creations by counting down the best Marvel heroes in the world!

Oh god, not the Glowy Hands of Doom. Didn’t they see I Am Number Four?