Tilda Swinton shines as the troubled mother of an even more troubled child. Though ‘shines’ is probably the wrong word to use for such a startingly bleak performance.

Oh Tilda, how do we love thee…

A superbly upsetting film, We Need to Talk About Kevin sees Lynne Ramsay and Tilda Swinton join forces to emotionally brutalise their audience in a fantastically realised adaptation of Lionel Shriver’s beast of a book.

The Oscars 2012 are, ever so slowly, creeping up on us. And how better than to celebrate the upcoming 84th Academy Award than by pretending we’re psychic and predicting the big winners. We’re even doing this BEFORE THE NOMINATIONS LIST IS REVEALED, because we’re badasses like that. From Melancholia to The Artist, we’ve covered a lot of ground here; take a gander at our prophetic visions and see if you agree with our predictions for the 2012 Oscars…

Wait a minute, hold the phone… Peter Bradshaw LIKES something? It must be A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!

and… we need to talk about it?

What happens in Cedar Rapids stays in Cedar Rapids. It’s a bit like Las Vegas but it doesn’t have the casinos, or the water fountains, or Celine Dion but it does have a prostitute and a (small) pool. That counts for something, right?

Oh my shit, it’s April! And it’s brought along not only Fools’ Days, sweet spring showers and the prospect of some chinless wonder marrying a Sloane, but also a batch of fresh and steaming new films – some promising, others less so. Stick around as we sift through this month’s cinematic offerings week by week and separate the fresh fish (FRESH FISH, Glen Coco!) from the distinctly murky tuna salad…

God we love John C Reilly.

John C Reilly and Jonah Hill plod happily through comedy/drama Cyrus; it’s just such a shame that their material never quite matches their obvious talent. Though a few moments of great dark humour lift the storyline, dreadful camera work and a lack-lustre ending drag Cyrus’s high flying stars down almost to amateur level.