Skadoosh!

The Man With The Iron Fists is more of a bloviated vanity piece by lead/director/writer/composer RZA than an homage to Chinese martial arts cinema. Proving that mediocre and poorly-edited action sequences are no substitute for a coherent screenplay, this film is an hour and a half of unenjoyable tosh that never even approaches the level of violence, gore, or fun that it promises. Someone better wrap RZA in a warm blanket and put him back to bed, he’s obviously not ready to be doing films yet.

With a hiatus of well over a decade, Detachment is director Tony Kaye’s first feature film since American History X. A stylized indie exploration of the life of a high school substitute and the broken public school system, it’s visually very impressive and boasts a stellar cast being totally stellar. Unfortunately it insists on hurling misery at you like its disaffected teens throw the outdated resource materials in their underfunded library at each other (violently and often).

With Lucy Liu as Watson, it’s safe to assume that Sherlock and Watson will end up fucking each other, and no one wants to see that, do they?

This Wednesday marks the release of Steven “I’m definitely going to stop being a director soon and paint pretty pictures” Soderbergh’s new film, Haywire, which stars Mixed Martial Arts champion Gina Carano. Presumably she spends the film going around beating up loads and loads of people with her martial arts skills. We literally can’t wait for that. Especially if she roundhouse kicks Ewan McGregor in the face. Anyways, to celebrate the release of this film, BFF has compiled a list of the top ten women who would kick you into next Tuesday if you tried to hold the door open for them. Enjoy!

Jack Black continues to prove that he’s much better off heard and not seen in the stupidly charming Kung Fu Panda 2. Funny, warm, beautiful to look at and packed to the brim with high-speed tail kicking, it just goes to show that sloppy seconds really aren’t Dreamworks’ style.

Oh dear. It looks like it’s not only “The Bride” who’s out for revenge when it comes to Kill Bill. Quentin Tarantino is being sued by a man named Dannez Hunte, who claims that major plot-points for the Kill Bill films came from a treatment he submitted to Miramax in 1999.